I cry out to mother
Begging to be fixed
I cry out to father
Begging to never
be abandoned

My cries carried away by the wind
Never reaching their destinations
Dying amongst high mountain tops
stabbed and broken
by ancient trees

Feeling small in a world, so big
Feeling suffocated, by this small town
A backwards Never Land
fueled on Tinkerbell’s
magic dust

Young souls trapped in old bodies
Wanting something more
Chasing shadows and highs
A never-ending cycle
of hell

Friend’s become victims
dying too young, comets
blazing out in midnight skies
some walking dead,
hollow

Shades of what used to be
lost to any logical reasons
Worried about the next score
calling only when they need
something

Yearning for things to be different
Yearning for the life
my younger self dreamed
about my goldish nightlight
possibilities

Always told I could do anything
Only to find out, that’s all a lie
No matter how hard I work
It never seems to be
enough

It never ever seems to be enough
Never enough time,
Never enough money,
Never enough to please
everyone,

Or more importantly, never
enough to please even me
my constant criticisms
beating me with past
transgressions,

Mistakes and bad choices
Reminders that I don’t deserve
anything, much less, love and success
wishing to drown this negative
voice

Blaring music, lost in a book
Toes sink in sun drenched sand,
pencil scribbling in a notebook
as salty ocean waves
break

Was I self-deluded to believe
in the American Dream?
Believing, I could reach the stars
shining beacons of spangled
majesty

Yet school readied me for
a hamster wheel, ever running
Ever struggling to keep up
Dizzy from the whirlwind
of this life