Having fled to my room to think about my previous actions, I felt lost. There was no doubt that I was confused or that I had no idea what was going on. However, that did not excuse my behavior, and I knew that. As I cried myself to sleep, I knew that a line had been crossed. My parents would be disappointed in me for my actions. The question became, could I forgive myself?

In time, I had no doubt that I would forgive myself for allowing my emotions to get the best of me. Right now, however, I needed to avail myself of my duties on the ship and show the captain that I was not ungrateful for his assistance. Life has a funny way of throwing you for a loop, even if you are prepared for it. That much I did understand, though I did not like the idea.

Climbing out of bed, I washed my face and made myself presentable. With everything I had been through, being able to slip into clean clothes and take a shower was something I would not overlook. It was these simple joys that reminded me that there was more to life. When I felt presentable enough, I exited my room and made my way to the bridge. The few passengers I encountered along the way simply smiled at me and went about their business. If the captain had told anyone what had happened, they were all acting remarkably well, given the circumstances.

Slipping into the console that I was supposed to work at, I took a minute to steady myself. There were tasks for me to accomplish, a list of things that the captain needed me to look into. I understood that, and the blinking on the console told me that I had jobs. Given where I came from and the lack of technological resources that Caesar Seven had, everyone was always impressed to find out that I have knowledge of computers. Mother used to tell me that it was due to my inquisitive mind. I found that with boredom came a desire to study and learn. It also helped that a few of the captains that showed up for trade would allow me to ask questions and learn about the technology.

Allowing my fingers to scan through the messages, I wanted nothing more than to be able to flip a switch and tell them that everything was going to be okay. I knew that I could not guarantee it, so instead, I set about starting to look through the resources that the others had prepared. I allowed my fingers to fly over the face of the touchscreen as I sought to repair the damage to the system. Once fixed, I would be able to begin husking as Erik wanted me too.

Time was one of the few things that I knew we had until our ultimate arrival. Of course, trying to find answers as to who our contact was for when we arrived was not an easy thing. I had to be careful. There was a reason why this information was being kept from me, that much I knew. Perhaps it was a mix of them not realizing how strong I could be coupled with the pain and anguish I had already been through.

My main concern was why, even given everything that I had gone through and everything that Nathaniel had put the world through, were we going to seek out allies among our enemies. It was my only chance of survival, but that did not make it any less terrifying. Life and death were constants in the world, and I wanted my life to simply be more than the few years I’ve been alive.

As I worked, I made a note of a few of the things that Erik had wanted. Tomorrow would begin the real test.