This year has been about figuring out what I need to put my best foot forward. Change is hard and takes time. Patience is not a virtue I inherited. New routines can make a person feel like they have lost sight of their life. I was so focused on getting through the day that I wasn’t enjoying anything. 

New Coping Techniques

It led me to not feel like the person I thought I was. My body’s here, but it’s like being in a fog. Exercise gave me the impression I had control. Independence is a big thing for me. Strength training and cardio helped me achieve that goal. 

Meditation is also something new for me. Mindfulness is the practice of awareness of your thoughts and emotions as they are. One practice of mindfulness allows the ability to let thoughts pass without assigning value to them. 

Example: I am a failure. 

Most people consider this a bad thought. Meditation and the practice of mindfulness allowed that idea to exist and move on. 

Deep breathing helps regulate the nervous system. Let me tell you the number of times I breathe correctly. It’s not a good number. Someone will probably think a medical issue occurred.

Recently, I have been diagnosed with the inattentive type of ADHD. This explains a lot of my behaviors. The journey to sort out my mental health has taken most of my time.

Old Loves 

Books were my escape growing up. I would get lost in the stories of Artemis Fowl. Then, when my mom finally gave me permission to read Harry Potter in middle school, I read every fantasy book I could. Writing occupied any spare time I may have had.  I wanted to be the voice for people like me. I lost sight of that goal in the last few years. Books are still there for me. They help me make sense of the world.