Miss Jessica shakes the frappe in her hand for several seconds, then responds.

“Tamara, I remember you as being a high-strung and introverted nature for your age, but an intelligent girl with big dreams.

“When we first met at the social services office that afternoon, you didn’t talk to me for the first ten minutes.”

I blush, “I tend to be cautious with other people. It’s the one helpful thing my parents taught me, other than how to hotwire a car.

“After they were arrested, I went on high alert around other people.”

“That’s understandable,” Jessica says. “Incidents like that can be difficult for anyone to heal.

“I was curious about you when I heard you did not speak to anyone after your family’s arrest.”

“It’s useless to talk if people won’t listen to you. The police only wanted my testimony, and the social worker was aloof and always busy on the phone with a person named “Johnny.”

“You were the first person to take an interest in me, not in my case; you made me feel that I was worth something.”

“Thank you, Tamara; I hope you feel that way about yourself now.”

My throat swallows a small gulp. “Yes, most of the time, I feel that way.”

“How do you feel at other times?”

“I-It depends on the situation. Outside of my expertise, I’m not so sure of myself.”

Uncomfortable feelings swell in my mind again, so I switched the subject.

“We can talk later about that. In the meantime, if that’s okay, I want to catch up with you.”

Jessica nods in approval, so I continue.

“I remember you as a person of inspiration, someone with clear goals in mind who never let adversity slow her down. You were the person I wanted to be: independent, confident, and a go-getter.

“Every day at my foster parent’s house, I would get the mail and newspaper, then cut out the articles you wrote and place them in a small drawer in my bedroom’s writing desk. I read them often and studied how you wrote stories and interviewed people. I still have some in my apartment back in L.A.”

Jessica chuckles, “You like to research, don’t you?”

I became more enthusiastic. “Of course, I want to be like you.”

Jessica sighs loudly. “Tamara, you have no idea.”

“What do you mean?”

“Bad things happen when you think like that.”

Her sudden flat tone catches me off guard. I pause and notice her eyes look down at her feet while Fizz, the flamingo, stirs.