As the school year begins and schedules ramp up into frenzied activities, it is a good idea for family stability to find a time to reconnect with your children. It may also be a good time to improve Gen Z’s verbal skills from misspelled incomplete sentences to intelligible conversation. Both goals can be met with one daily routine: a dedicated time for family meals. I know that sounds very old-fashioned and Norman Rockwell-ish, but there is something to be said for the habits of previous generations.

This may seem impossible. With both parents working and school activities demanding our children’s time, how can anyone schedule regular family meals? And is it really worth the effort?

Let’s address the last question first. Yes, it is worth it. What are the benefits of juggling schedules, preparing the meal, and moving heaven and earth in order to get everyone to the table?

Benefits

1. Keep In Touch

Not just with your spouse, but also with your children. I have found from experience that the older your children get, the harder it is to drag information out of them. The preteens tend to chat easily with anyone who is in earshot. Teenagers usually respond with an uninformative monosyllabic grunt. What better way to maneuver complete sentences out of them than by coercing them with food?

2. Healthy Discussions

Let’s face it, there is an abundance of bad news. And with social media, the news is disseminated easily and quickly. Our children are confronted with severe social issues at every turn. The family table is a safe place to ask questions, discuss different points of view, learn to accept other opinions, and encourage one another through fear.

3. Build Family Ties

We have had some serious discussions at the table, as well as some very humorous times. Families develop a rapport with each other as they spend time with each other. You may even unintentionally create a catch-phrase and inside jokes. All those moments, whether mundane or remarkable, add up to strong heartstrings with each other.

There are other studies about regular family meals that point out the correlation of decreased family meals with an increase in divorce, suicide, and substandard academic progress. However, for the sake of argument, let’s assume that you agree regular family interaction is a positive experience, and you are ready for some guidelines on how to conduct a daily (or almost daily) routine of getting the troops together for a meal.

Family Table Tips

1. No Phones.

No. Not one. Did you know that our offspring can survive for a half hour or more without being joined to their cell phone? For that matter, so can parents. The rule in our house is no cell phones at the supper table. No exceptions. If I can see it, then I can confiscate it, and I reserve the right to do so.

2. Use Your Happy Voice

If you grumble your way through the experience, so will your family. Even if you are having a serious discussion, you can have a positive attitude. Don’t let your voice or body language suggest you’d rather be doing something else. Your family will pick up on it and those buggers will adopt the same attitude and the experience will be a flop.  

3. Be Flexible

As children get older and have school and jobs, it will become harder to find a regular time to sit down together. Some days, you just have to take what you can get. Be thankful for the ones that are able to be there and save the others some leftovers to heat up later. Unless there’s pie. In our house, if you miss my homemade pie, it is a “too bad, so sad for you” situation because there is never any leftover pie.

4. Share The Love

The cooking doesn’t always have to be done by one person. Set up a rotation of cooks. Even if all they can make is toast. This will help them not only learn to cook, but also teach them to appreciate the work others put into making a meal for them. You may want to be a little careful, especially after the conversation we had in our house. My husband grilled chicken for supper. Usually, we give a few little tidbits to the cats. We didn’t see them all during supper. The statement which followed was a little concerning:

Youngest child: Where are the cats? Are they outside?

Husband: That reminds me, I need to put the grill away.

So, the moral of the story is to enjoy your time together as a family, just be careful about who does the cooking.

Notice: No cats were harmed in any way during the making of this article. All felines in my home are accounted for, begging for treats, and sitting on my laptop while I try to work.

Photo courtesy of Audrius Vizbaras from Pixabay