Dear Mom,

I want to say that I’m proud of you for all that you’ve accomplished. It’s been one of my greatest pleasures getting to know you as an adult, and I hope that by reading this letter, I can impart some wisdom.

I hope that I can normally tell you how proud I am because you’ve raised two children and how grateful I am that you’ve shown me what being selfless is because Lord knows Lucy, and I gave you a run for your money.

I also know that getting to know you as an adult, you learn about a person differently. I don’t see you as an authority anymore; I see a friend and an equal. In some ways, I hope that I can be a role model to you and teach you about the things that life has to offer in the ways that you did for me.

I want to tell you that success is not about money or about appearances but about being happy. The days when you’re at the beach with a margarita in your hands and watching the waves or the days when we have coffee together and talk about current events, those are the times that I want you to live in forever. The moments that are painful teach us who we are and teach us how to grow and thrive.

I know the being the mother of a disabled child has made you want to put yourself on the back burner so other people can have what they want, but you deserve to be happy. You deserve to be happy in every possible way.

It’s okay to say that you want the last cookie.

I never told you that the Christmas I remember the most growing up was the one where Dad was laid off from work. You were taking care of Lucy and me at home. I wanted that purple shirt with the rhinestones on it, and I wanted the matching silver pants. And you made sure that I got them. There wasn’t much under the tree that year, but just knowing that you and Dad made sure that I got the one present that I really wanted was something that I really hold close to my heart as an adult because I know tough things, but you made sure my Christmas wish came true.

I want you to know that it’s okay to be yourself, that it’s okay to cherish the moments and inside jokes with yourself that no one else understands. Cherish the small moments of joy like no one’s watching, free of judgment.

I’m so glad that I get to share my moments of joy with you.

If there’s one thing that I could close with, please know that no one else can tell you what success is; no one else can tell you what can bring you happiness.

I want you to know that no one else can tell you where happiness or success should be. It’s about you. If we get one life or we got 500, each one should be spent in the best way possible. Just know that you deserve every bit of good news that comes your way. Never let anyone judge you or take good things away from you. Don’t become hardened by other people’s judgment in other people’s misdeeds. Just know that you are a work in progress, and that’s okay because every day of progress makes us more amazing.

Photo by Keely Messino via Canva