“For her next trick…”

In many moments of my life, I have felt like people have viewed my disability as a performance act that fulfills their inspiration fix.

“Oh, wow. You’re amazing!”

“God bless you! you’re such a determined girl…”

“No way! You’re a college graduate?”

“Married? How incredible!”

I’m not saying that receiving praise is a bad thing. I am glad my personal story inspires people. It gives me purpose, but it also gives me anxiety.  Endless hearts and thumbs-ups appear on my posts expressing positivity and determination. My serious posts only get liked by family members and close friends. What do people actually think of me?

There has never been a moment where I post something downright negative that has not ended in a positive note. Want to know why?  Most people don’t expect negativity to come from me. If I show a slight bit of it, people freak out. They would say like “Why aren’t you smiling? You’re the happiest person I know.” I want to flip the bird at those times. Sorry, not sorry.

I think society adapted to having disabled individuals best known as inspirational porn stars. According to Australian disability activist Stella Young, “Inspiration porn is an image of a person with a disability, often a kid, doing something ordinary. For example, playing, talking, or running. There is a caption like ‘your excuse is invalid.’ It’s there so non-disabled people can put their worries into perspective. It’s there so that non-disabled people can look at us and think ‘Well, it could be worse… I could be that person.” Young is right. I have had people say, “I can’t imagine living with a disability.” Sure, it can be challenging. I still live a fulfilled life, though. How would you feel if your life is less desired?

Most disabled individuals in my situation just want respect. It is frustrating to have people point out visible differences. Next time you encounter a person with a disability, act normal. Would you really embarrass yourself in front of a star, anyway?