40 years is almost 15,000 days on this Earth? Most people don’t adapt well to change. I, however, have always excelled here. That is until recently.

I am now finding out that my whole life, all those days, I was suffering from a mental health issue. My doctors like to refer to me as one of the highly functional mental health candidates. Who knew? All this time, I was reaping the benefits of my disorder. You see, it made me feel powerful, omnipotent, able to conquer any challenge before me! That all came to a crashing halt, though. Needless to say, I’m not dealing well with this change.

This series will recount some of my episodes, discuss my symptoms as well as my journeys through this process. I hope it finds you well and maybe sheds some perspective on someone who might be dealing with the same issues. As a poet by nature, I will also leave some words to wrap up my thought process in each chapter. I will leave my disorder in question until the end. This in an effort to let you, the reader, decide what label befits me.

With that said, let’s get right to it!

To whom have I become…

Silence upon standing

Numb while now seated

Gift becomes curse

Internal heart bleeding

Uncontrollable once

Now without binding

Stuck upon circles

Mindstate rewinding

Drop to my tongue

Medication to hasten

What prior was strength

No longer debating

Where will this journey

Take me to be

To whom I’ve become

Surely time will now see