Hearts shattered
The “why’s” never answered
Tears flow swollen and hot
Burning blue eyes
Inherited from you
Daddy’s little girl
I’ve always been
No matter the time
That passed
As a child, I talked to you
Whispering my fears and dreams
Whispering I love you Daddy to a
Midnight sky,
North star
Pointing in your direction

Missing your presence
Your quick smile
Hunting starfish
At 2 am
walking the sandy beach
Quiet
except the crashing waves
and my excited chatter
Dancing to the record player
My small feet upon your boots
Never missing a step
Never touching the floor.

Your first meeting with your grandson
Such pride and joy shining through
sky blue eyes
Never once a condemning comment
About my young age
Happy your name would carry on.
Both of us, you made over
From our stance, looks, down to your serious humor.

Staying in touch tickled me purple
Just to have my Daddy back in my life
I knew this time I would never let go.
Though life blew me around,
I thought of you everyday
Quick calls checking in and those
In which I chattered so,
Visits when possible
Thinking there’s always time
As it quietly ticks away

I should have called more,
Visited more
I wish you could have spent time with your great granddaughter.
I could waste the days
on regrets and guilt
Yet, I can hear you tsk
Shaking your head

But some days I find it hard to breathe
Fighting back the gush of tears
Struggle to maintain until alone
Your unexpected death cast
a cold shadow over those left behind
We try to pick up the pieces

So slowly I try to get back to living
Do something I know will make you proud.
Keeping you alive in my heart
As so many will;
your kind nature
And big heart
Touched all those blessed to know you

So many jokes;
so many laughs,
so much love
Not enough time
Looking up at the night sky
Fixated on the North Star
Again, this little girl sends messages through the shimmering stars
Hoping they’ll be delivered to
My confidant, friend, my beloved Daddy.