Resilience is the buzzword of the apocalypse. I mean pandemic, but it often feels like a manifestation of the end times as we roll from one scenario to the next in the land of COVID-19. While I embrace resilience, I also need to say I’m Exhausted! The thing about our wonderful human life is it is filled with nuance. It is more often a both/and situation than an either/or situation. So how can we be resilient while allowing ourselves the human condition of exhaustion?

What is Resilience anyway?

My friends at Dictionary.com define resilience as:

1. the power or ability of a material to return to its original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity.
2. the ability of a person to adjust to or recover readily from illness, adversity, major life changes, etc.; buoyancy.
3. the ability of a system or organization to respond to or recover readily from a crisis, disruptive process, etc.

Reading this fine definition, one can understand why we would want to live our lives with resilience. It is beneficial to us and the people we love to recover from adversity and crisis. Life is a series of choices; you can stay stuck in your circumstances or learn and move on to something better.

One Thing After Another

Resilience is the goal, yet sometimes life makes it hard to keep up. There are seasons where it feels like there is a new challenge at every turn. As soon as you come up with a solution for problem #1, problem #2 pops its head out from behind the next door. We adjust, change the plan, recover, and move on to what is behind door number three. Life keeps moving forward. The act of resilience allows us to look at what happened before and know that we can do hard things because we have evidence. Our past resilience is proof that we can handle what is in front of us and come out on the other side intact.

Resilient and Yet Exhausted

Of course, the choice to be resilient and face each new challenge head-on comes with costs. The cost is often complete and utter exhaustion. I can do all the hard things that are placed in front of me, but please do not ask me to pretend that it is easy. I am tired. Often, I am sad, worried, and anxious. My mind is filled with multiple scenarios; some are complex, but all of them rely on completing tasks and taking active steps to achieve them. So, some days I cry. Tears and exhaustion can overwhelm me, but they do not take away from my resilient behavior. I am practicing resilience and moving life forward. I am also admitting that I am human. My body and mind are not mechanical, but flesh and bone, and they get tired. I can be both resilient and exhausted.

Connecting with the Spiritual

Despite the exhausted tears that sometimes fall from my eyes, I see resilience as a spiritual practice. The energy I put out into the universe is what will return to me. If I decide to sit in despair, declaring that nothing good will ever take place and dark clouds follow my every step; that is the energy that will seek me out. I choose to look for solutions. My choices take me to the next place; they take me to a place where I can recover.

I struggle with the concept that God only gives us what we can handle. My thought – God, you far overestimate my abilities as a single human walking this vast planet. At the same time, I see that God sits with me in everything. God sits with me on the good days. The days where I have a plan and the path out of this troubled season are clear. God laments with me on the bad days. He sits with His arms around me as I cry at my kitchen counter because everything is just so HARD at this moment in time. God does not require me to be positive and uplifted 24/7. He holds me at the low point and rejoices with me as resilience wins and we move on to something new. God is always present.

Whatever the Season

Whether it is grief, loss, illness, abuse, loneliness, whatever season you are in, know you are human. As a fragile human being, allow yourself to embrace all parts of your soul. Please practice resilience. Take the next step and make choices that move you in the direction of recovery. In addition to resilience, lean into all your messy human emotions. Allow yourself to be present to sadness, exhaustion, and defeat. Be present to it and then move through it. Remember, this world is far more about both/and then either/or. Embrace the whole picture and your place in it.