Coffee House Writers

Main Menu

  • Home
  • Article Categories
    • Fiction
      • Action & Adventure
      • Fantasy
      • Historical Fiction
      • Horror
      • Mystery
      • Romance
      • Science Fiction
      • Speculative Fiction
      • Suspense & Thrillers
      • Westerns
      • Women’s Fiction
      • Women Sleuths
    • Nonfiction
      • Astrology & Tarot
      • Biographies
      • Business
      • Creativity
      • Creative Nonfiction
      • Cooking, Food & Drink
      • Culture
      • Current Affairs & Politics
      • Design, Fashion & Style
      • Entertainment
      • Environment
      • Health & Wellness
      • History
      • Home & Garden
      • Lifestyle
      • Media
      • Memoir & Autobiographies
      • Narrative
      • Paranormal
      • Parenting & Family
      • Reviews
      • Science & Technology
      • Self-Help & Relationships
      • Spiritual & Religious
      • Sports
      • Travel
      • True Crime
    • Poetry
      • Acrostic
  • About Us
    • Our Story
    • Our Founder
  • Meet Our Admin
    • Chief Editors
    • Editors
  • Testimonials
  • Apply
  • Login

logo

Coffee House Writers

  • Home
  • Article Categories
    • Fiction
      • Action & Adventure
      • Fantasy
      • Historical Fiction
      • Horror
      • Mystery
      • Romance
      • Science Fiction
      • Speculative Fiction
      • Suspense & Thrillers
      • Westerns
      • Women’s Fiction
      • Women Sleuths
    • Nonfiction
      • Astrology & Tarot
      • Biographies
      • Business
      • Creativity
      • Creative Nonfiction
      • Cooking, Food & Drink
      • Culture
      • Current Affairs & Politics
      • Design, Fashion & Style
      • Entertainment
      • Environment
      • Health & Wellness
      • History
      • Home & Garden
      • Lifestyle
      • Media
      • Memoir & Autobiographies
      • Narrative
      • Paranormal
      • Parenting & Family
      • Reviews
      • Science & Technology
      • Self-Help & Relationships
      • Spiritual & Religious
      • Sports
      • Travel
      • True Crime
    • Poetry
      • Acrostic
  • About Us
    • Our Story
    • Our Founder
  • Meet Our Admin
    • Chief Editors
    • Editors
  • Testimonials
  • Apply
  • Login
  • Mama Knows Best – Chapter 9

  • Confession

  • Half

  • Lily of the Valley

  • In Deep Water: Chapter 19

  • The Wind

  • My Child

  • Chamomile Rabbit

  • Mama Knows Best – Chapter 8

  • I’m Leaving

  • Before Dawn

  • Soul-Searching in Manhattan

  • Fragile Hearts

  • In Deep Water: Chapter 18

  • My Alma Mater

  • Hot Cross Buns

  • The Search for Evidence

  • It Is Manuscript Time

  • Stardust

  • Don’t Talk to Me That Way

Memoir & AutobiographiesHome & GardenParenting & Family
Home›Nonfiction›Memoir & Autobiographies›Reflecting On Loss Of Innocence

Reflecting On Loss Of Innocence

By Heather Lauren
August 12, 2019
1711
0
Share:
Spilled Drugs
Photo courtesy of Matthew T Rader of Unsplash.com

Recently I was asked to give an example of a loss of innocence in my personal life. As I reflected on what to share, I couldn’t help but think of all the different times in my life that chipped away at my childhood.

There was one episode that stuck out above the others.

I was about 11 or 12 years old and visiting my dad. I was excited because he recently gave me a PlayStation for my birthday. I was so happy that it already came with a game inside the console. My mom (who had divorced him when I was two) thought the pre-loaded game inside the console was funny but she didn’t smile. I also liked that my dad didn’t leave the PlayStation inside of the box; he took it out and put a game inside for me.

When I got to my dad’s house, a shabby single-wide trailer that’s floor was soft and where incense was always burning, I noticed my dad had gotten me two new bikes. One bike was yellow and looked a little too big for me but the other bike was entirely too small. My 11-year-old self always thought it was weird he wanted me to leave the bicycles in the living room but I always did as he asked. I sat down on a mushy couch and called my dad’s name from the living room. I waited.

I heard voices and moving and waited some more.

A blond woman with dried blood on her nose walked (stumbled) out of the bedroom, followed by my dad. I got upset because I didn’t want to share my dad. He just got back into town after being in prison since I was 4. My dad introduced me to his girlfriend whose name was “Fuzzy.” Fuzzy smiled a lot but she never met my eyes.

He then told me to go play at the park. I left but I forgot something (God only knows what it was) when I walked back into the trailer, Fuzzy, for whatever reason, had a red mark on her face and was crying. I don’t remember much after that, I remember leaving my dad’s and walking to my aunt’s house and refusing to see him. My aunt, God rest her soul, made sure he didn’t see me. I remember talking to my mom that night, asking her question after question about who my dad really was.

She told me.

My 11-year-old self started to understand why none of his presents were ever brand new. I also understood why his house always had a chemical and incense smell. Why my mother never left me over there for more than a few hours and why she always stayed close by. I started to understand why all of his friends smoked and smelled like liquor, why he always made me leave when they came over. I was 11 when I learned the pull of drugs could be stronger than the pull of paternal love. It took me years to understand what abuse is and how it affects marriage and family. Now I’m well passed that 11-year-old girl, but the pangs of that day still haunt me.

Tagsdomestic abuseDrug Abuseloss of innocencedivorce parentsMental HealthFearDepressionchildhood
Previous Article

Push

Next Article

Face In The Mirror (A Poem)

0
Shares
  • 0
  • +
  • 0
  • 0

Heather Lauren

Heather resides in the heart of North Carolina with her husband, 3 kids and 2 Labradors. When she is not meeting the tireless demands of motherhood, she works full time as a Financial Counselor while completing her Bachelor's in English & Creative Writing. After receiving a degree in Business Administration, she realized she would rather be poked in the eye-repeatedly than take another business class. Currently she can be found revising her first novel and working on her second. Heather is a tea snob and urban fantasy book junkie. When not writing she can be found sipping copious amounts of tea and watching reruns of Gilmore Girls, Grey's Anatomy, Supernatural and Charmed.

Related articles More from author

  • EntertainmentLifestyleNonfictionCultureSelf-Help & RelationshipsMemoir & Autobiographies

    Money Isn’t Your Life

    May 24, 2021
    By Stephanie Wyatt
  • Nightmare
    CultureCreativityPoetryNonfictionHealth & Wellness

    Rest

    June 8, 2020
    By Shannon Meyers
  • Health & WellnessCreativityParenting & FamilyNonfiction

    Core Beliefs

    April 6, 2020
    By Cameo J. Monroe
  • White desk with a laptop and opened notebook in front of a big window with a view of mountains and sunlight.
    Self-Help & RelationshipsNonfiction

    Slowing Down Time With Intentional Living

    October 28, 2024
    By Neva Naci
  • Mental Health
    CreativityParenting & FamilyHealth & Wellness

    To Whom Have I Become (The End)

    July 27, 2020
    By Sean Stevens
  • smiling girl wears a crown
    CreativityParenting & FamilyPoetry

    Éowyn, Queen of Earth

    September 11, 2023
    By Shannon Richards

Leave a reply Cancel reply

You may be interested

  • A pile of enoki mushrooms on a quartz countertop
    NonfictionHealth & WellnessCultureScience & TechnologyEntertainment

    Strange Medicine: Injected Mushrooms

  • little girl in pink hat standing in field of grass
    PoetryEntertainmentCreativity

    Strange world

  • Angel gravestone
    CreativityParenting & FamilySelf-Help & RelationshipsPoetryMemoir & AutobiographiesHome & GardenEntertainmentRomanceCulture

    An Angel Among Us

Timeline

  • May 12, 2025

    Mama Knows Best – Chapter 9

  • May 12, 2025

    Confession

  • May 12, 2025

    Half

  • May 12, 2025

    Lily of the Valley

  • May 5, 2025

    In Deep Water: Chapter 19

Latest Comments

  • violet
    on
    May 13, 2025
    Sometimes it doesn't matter as long as you are all the way there. This was so ...

    Half

  • LC Ahl (Lucy)
    on
    May 13, 2025
    Thank you for sharing his obit. You're right, they did make him out to be a ...

    The Coldest Case

  • Mark
    on
    May 12, 2025
    https://www.schniderfuneralhome.com/obituaries/alan-reavleyIs this right?We hear so often these days about DNA bringing historic justice. Sad it didn’t ...

    The Coldest Case

  • LC Ahl (Lucy)
    on
    May 12, 2025
    Mark, Thanks for this info. I'd love to read his obit. I was working at KGPR when ...

    The Coldest Case

  • Mark
    on
    May 12, 2025
    Looks like MrReavley deceased a year after this interesting article was written. Sadly no deathbed confession ...

    The Coldest Case

About us

  • coffeehousewriters3@gmail.com

Donate to Coffee House Writers

Coindrop.to me

Follow us

© Copyright 2018-2025 Coffee House Writers. All Rights Reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s administrator and owner is strictly prohibited. Privacy Policy · Disclaimer