Strawberry Guillotine

Omnichannel—
It’s the new word.
The buzz, the bee—
Be everywhere—
Omnipotent
Omnipresent
On every channel, every feed—
Feed the algorithm
Words—
Not fruit.
My mother gave me a
Strawberry slicer
On Easter Sunday—
A terribly odd,
Impractical gift.
I smiled outwardly
But cringed inside—
It reminded me of my studies,
My training, in marketing.
Content, they say,
Should be multi-purpose
Like kitchen tools
No single-use gadgets
Allowed
No
Avocado peelers
Salad spinners
Cookie dough scoops
Cherry pitters
Strawberry slicers
But my son had such a blast
Cutting strawberries
Into itty bitty pieces—
Cackling
As he scraped them on a plate
With neon-colored stars
And a bright yellow speech bubble
That read
BAM!
I’ve quite enjoyed myself, too—
Plucking three hapless strawberries
From the basket
Lining them up
And executing them
One by one
Like a cruel red queen.
It’s just too much fun
Owning a worthless
Inefficient
Superfluous
Clunky
Strawberry guillotine.
Nice. They also may work with eggs and colorful putty. IJS 🙂