Entropy is always increasing in a closed system.

The chaos,

the collisions,

the madness surges through the neural pathways until there’s nothing left, but the ashes of an overworked brain.

I’m maneuvering in a pool of great struggle,

gripping onto what little sanity is around me,

only to discover that the waves may reach out to you like handles,

but the moment you give them your last ounce of strength,

the moment you are sure that you are going to be rescued,

you sink down into the deepest depths of despair

in silence.

I remember questioning the world.

And that marked the occasion of ridding myself from the Earth at 67 mph. 

Some might say I was running away from my predicaments and doubts,

but what I was really doing was driving in pursuit of the answers.

Glazed vision outside of the passenger window.  

Invisible pines; now you see them, now you don’t.

It’s as if I had put on a blindfold–

And let me tell you, I have never seen more clearly.

Swallowed by darkness with nothing but the glow of headlights,

dazed by the interminable black before me,

cruising into the unknown without an end destination.

And I surrendered myself to the ancient stars,

they are the breadcrumbs to my exhausting inquiries,

they speak the wise words I cease to find at my lips,

and they had been scripted out with a feather along the sky.

Not phased by the moon, but mesmerized by the dilation in his eyes,

with its gravitational pull I chose not to resist.

The wind slapped some sense into me as I stood outside the roof of my car,

the chill left my body numb, but burning desire kept me warm–

well, and also the shitty gas station coffee that sizzled against my skin,

but at the moment it all came together, it all made sense–

the plastic cups became our crystal glasses,

the watered-down coffee was our imported wine,

& it was when our landscape grew dark that I finally could see.

We were flowers that bloomed in the absence of sunlight.

I understand it now. 

The unknown whispered into my ears that night,

“entropy increases…

the chaos,

the collisions,

the madness–

you must release your fears now,

you must open your mind in this closed-off system,

you must race straight into my uncharted havoc;

and you will become the formless matter that was in existence long before the birth of the cosmos.”