A friend recently told me that there have never been any consequences to my poor decisions. The thing is, there is always a consequence of any action. My consequence is I have to deal with the fact that I’m not as independent as I was when I first moved here eight years ago.

This may seem like it’s an easy fix. I can build up my strength and get back to the same level of Independence. This is easier said than done. I have a plan for that, but I don’t start physical therapy for about a month. The way I was going to cope with that is I was going to work out. I haven’t been sleeping well, so I fall asleep during the day.

It feels like a vicious cycle, and then I get frustrated and start crying because I feel like I can’t be mad because then I feel ungrateful. Then my crying makes me more tired and doesn’t accomplish anything. I know this, but I feel too boxed into my current choices. 

I want to have a job to make money so I can live more comfortably. The thing is, if I get a job, I will lose my aide care. Then I will have to pay out of pocket and still be in the same financial situation.  The bright side of this is I have plenty of time to work on creative projects. The problem is I find myself asking, “Is this a waste of time?” 

The answer is you never know.  Is it ever worth doing anything? You could just stay in bed all day when you aren’t working. You might miss out on the opportunity to change your life. It may be frustrating, but it will teach you something. All you have to do is start. I’m rooting for you, and we’ll get through this one day at a time.

Featured photo by bluebudgie courtesy of Pixabay