Sometimes you avoid accepting the bitter truths of life. However, there comes a day or moment when you remember a piece of advice or lesson someone had shared with you. At that moment, you realize it was true. Out of all the self-help books I’ve read, the advice I got from loved ones, and lessons I’ve learned, these are the ones I wish I knew sooner. 

On Change and Regret

Change is uncomfortable, but stepping out of what you’re used to is what keeps you from having more regrets. Beginning a major shift seems the most painful or unsettling. What’s agonizing is not taking any action only to find yourself in the same position as you were years before. Everything that I didn’t take a chance on still haunts me to this day as I reflect on the years that have gone by. So don’t fear regret or failure because you grieve the things you don’t do more than what you do. Remember that dwelling on what could have been cannot alter the past, as worrying cannot change the future. 

On Failure and Disappointment

If you avoid making mistakes and failing, you’re also blocking yourself from reaching success. Quit perceiving failing as something that is a sign to give up; rather, as a step further toward what you desire. You can’t reach your goals without hitting and overcoming roadblocks along the way. Thomas Edison didn’t fail with the lightbulb; he found one thousand ways that didn’t work. Failure is not like a dead end road. It’s a signal to detour, as it shows you what doesn’t work and what might if you keep trying. 

On Experience and Mindset

When you stop complaining about your situation, making excuses, and looking for who to blame, that’s a sign of maturity. Take matters into your own hands and create a way out. There’s always another route and the first step to getting there is deciding that you will not sit back and feel sorry for yourself hoping someone will save you. 

You can’t have all the answers now but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go after your dreams. You will not know until you step into the unknown. Only then will you will learn more and quicker through experience and trial and error—not by staying stuck in learning mode until you’re completely ready. If you do what’s necessary, one day you’ll be doing what you thought was too difficult for you.

On People and Hope

You may have to lose everything to discover who you are. Hitting rock bottom forces you to confront what you’ve swept under the rug and face the root of your struggles and identity. When put in certain situations or environments, you can realize your potential, strength, and other sides to you that have been waiting for their moment to shine. Nothing in this world is permanent, and this isn’t a negative fact. It’s a reminder. Focus on what to prioritize and what isn’t worth your time and energy. There is always hope, but you have to hold on to it even when it seems hopeless. If you look for the light, you’ll find it, but if you lose hope, you’ll only see darkness and despair.

Choose your friends wisely because they influence you more than you think. As you improve yourself, you notice that those around you disappoint you more, but don’t lower your standards because they can’t meet yours. No one watches or judges you as much as you suspect. Everyone cares about themselves the most. People may not recall what you say or do, but they never forget how you make them feel. This is also why making a good impression with small gestures works, because you never know what someone is going through. So be kind. 

Even though you might be regretful for not remembering or applying these lessons, appreciate the times when you come across them again. It’s never too late to restore what you believe you is lost or missed out on. Life throws curveballs at you and you can face them with a smarter approach each time by applying these lessons. So, embrace change, make mistakes, do what you can with what you have, set priorities, and choose friends that won’t pull you down. As you do, you continue to grow and become a better version of yourself each day.

Editor: Michelle Naragon