I have struggled my whole life to find that one thing I’m more passionate about above all else. Growing up, I wanted to be everything from a teacher to a singer to a lawyer to an astronomer. When I was about 11, I decided I wanted to be a fashion designer, and this is the one I stuck with until I was an adult.

For over a decade, this was my biggest dream. I wanted to be a big-time designer, who lived in New York or Paris. When I went to college after high school, my major was apparel design and I loved it. It was everything I hoped it would be. There was one problem, though… It was too physically demanding.

I was born with spinal muscular atrophy, for those who don’t know me. I’ve never been able to walk, and I have relied on others my whole life for daily tasks, such as getting dressed, showering, getting food, etc. My arms have limited use and grow tired quickly. When overworked, it is difficult to move, and I don’t gain back strength after a short rest like most people. It typically takes a full-night’s sleep to regain my mobility.

Having a three-hour sewing lab pretty much rendered me useless for the rest of the day. Therefore, having such a lab multiple times a week was horrible for my other classes, power soccer practices, and other club activities. It got to the point where I could barely feed myself afterword. After two years, I decided to change my major to fashion merchandising to focus more on the business aspect, but this wasn’t the dream.

Switching majors the first time led me to spiral into a deep depression, which I have discussed before. I changed majors again and again, then left school completely after five years and no degree.

In 2016, I completely started over with online classes in Southern New Hampshire University’s Forensic Psychology program. I am currently five courses away from graduating with honors! While I still very much love psychology, though, about a year ago, I started having doubts again. I stuck with it because I thought maybe this was just a passing phase.

If any of you have been following me online, you know my love for writing and books is absolutely not a passing phase. I started a book blog in March 2018, but this year I’ve really worked on expanding it. It’s now a full website (Functionally Fictional) that offers free book promotion to all authors, and there is a whole team of reviewers. I’m also an indie staff reviewer for YA Books Central, I wrote my first full-length book, and I am very active in the book community.

I am working one-on-one with authors and publishers each week. I am currently surrounded by dozens of books sent to me from authors, publishers, and other bloggers to review. I have even started freelance editing and other author services. It has been a whirlwind, but I have loved every single second of it. It’s stressful and I literally have zero free time, but I love it.

Because of everything that’s changed, I have decided to go in a different direction for my master’s degree. I know, I know, I’m changing again. This is it, though. This is real and I feel more certain about this than anything I’ve ever done. I’m proud of myself for sticking with psychology to the end, but I’m also proud of myself for taking this chance—for not being afraid to put myself out into the world like this.

I’ve loved books my whole life, and now I plan on doing something I love—something I’m confident in—for the rest of my life. It took a while. It took half a dozen other wrong paths, but I finally figured out.

I have applied to SNHU’s Master of Fine Arts (Creative Writing) program. I’ll be submitting a writing sample and personal statement this month, and then a decision will be made at the end of this term. While it is a creative writing degree, there are also multiple publishing and marketing courses. Plus, there is a YA track in the writing portion. It is my goal to one day work in publishing, while continuing to work on my own books.

My point is this: Don’t give up. It might take a while, but you will get there. Even if it takes a million tries, there is something for everyone. I found my new dream. Now go find yours.

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