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Home›Culture›To Whom Have I Become (Part 4)

To Whom Have I Become (Part 4)

By Sean Stevens
July 13, 2020
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Mental Health
Image by Tumisu from Pixabay

Trigger warning: Mental health

Now, where was I? Oh yeah, what the hell is wrong with me! Here I am wondering how I got to this place. What are my options? I thought for sure I was going to die! But I didn’t! How could this be? I survived but had no clue what the next step was.

Then a lightning flash of genius came to me. If I wasn’t meant to die, then it must be time for jail, I thought. I must be going crazy, so I need to lock myself up! So that’s exactly what I did.

Left or right I can not decide

Anger, sadness, eyes remain wide

Depression, pride, feelings of grandeur

Overcome by excitement, loss of true candor

On top of a mountain, only to fall

Steepness of tumble, lay wreck to my soul

Wake up to sunshine only to see

Darkness surrounding, before sunset could be

If living is gifted, why leave me behind

Why open the world to leave me then blind

I will not accept, nor take that as the truth

Bi-polar am I?  I’ve been stricken since youth

So this is the cause, of all the despair

The moments of victory, heart absent fear

Moments have come, moments have left

To hell, this diagnosis, I’m reliving each step

Failing to feel, for that I am guilty

Prevailing through nails, in my breath ever quickly

So this is the story, a man who was once
Scared to ask help, scared to become
Dependent on pills to keep me on track
Absent of help, I lost my way back

Now to become, a soldier of truth
Promoter of health, a mental recluse
Seek out support, be conscious of you
Don’t shame those in need, for they believe truth

TagsculturepoetryCoffee House WritersAnxietyMental HealthChangeMental IllnessDepressionshort storywritingcreativityPoemcreative writing
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